Finding Time

This weekend I got to reconnect with three wonderful women that I haven’t seen in what seems like ages. They are my three of my closest friends from high school. One of them had a baby shower this past Sunday. Since Aaron volunteered to watch our nieces that day, it only seemed fitting that I bring the boy with me and give Baby Girl a day in which she doesn't have to share her older cousins. 

The thing that I was most delighted by is how despite time (three years since I last saw my friends) the conversations just picked up as if no time had passed. I have to admit, the ease of the conversations kind of made me feel quite the twinge of guilt. Not sure why this happens. And it hasn't just happened with them. It's happened with several of my groups of friends. things get in the way and I kind of forget to make time for myself. I mean, don't even get me started on the last time I took a few hours to get an honest to goodness mandi/pedi. Hell, the last time I got my hair cut I was still in the second trimester with the boy.

On the up-side, the boy was a big hit. He was his usual chill self, ate well, was playful, and managed to draw quite the group of little girls. At one point I went to the bathroom and came back to a group of two little girls surrounding him. The group grew to three, then four. One little girl kept touching his face and wanted to give him kissies. I suspect he kind of liked the attention, at least he did at first. Once the group got a little too close, and a tad too grabby, he started to get a little cranky.  I told Aaron about this. He was proud of his mini ladies man.

Royally Messed Up

I’m not sure how I feel. In fact, I haven’t been sure how I feel for almost a week now. Last week Aaron and I got hit with some pretty troubling news and even though I’m trying to get past it (I’m sure he is too); this whole thing is just staying in my head and messing me up.

Aaron and I went out with some friends. We were supposed to do a dinner and a show –a comedy show to be exact, but more on that later. I was running late because of work so we had to skip dinner and meet our friends at the comedy club. We saw Rich Vos; a comedian we all like a lot. Great show. But that wasn’t the part that got me all messed up. That happened immediately after the show.

Basically, this is what happened: The show ended, we milled around while we got ready to head out, bought a cd, got a picture and walked out. Then, there- right in the parking lot in lieu of what should have been your basic, ‘okay, what do we do now’s’ and/or ‘we’ll see you guys later’s’ we got hit with one of our friends saying, “there’s a reason we wanted you guys to come out.” The tone was serious and the next few words lead me to think they were having financial issues and had to sell their house, but nope. It got worse, the friend followed up the selling the house thing with “we’ve been having problems for a while now,” and the doozy… they are going to be getting divorced.

That was the very first time I have ever seen Aaron be entirely unsure of what to say. All I was able to do is fish through my purse for a pack of tissues because our friend’s wife had started crying.

The whole situation was just odd. Particularly because out of all the married couples we know, this is the one that we genuinely love as a couple. The fact that they got married was essentially a given considering how awesome they are together. Granted, no, we’re not there to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of everyday life, but still. They showed absolutely no sign at all that something was amiss. On the contrary, the time before this, they seemed to be more together than ever. So in the days since then, we’ve discovered that this is a one sided thing. She is going along with this because she has already tried everything she can think of and just wants him to be happy.

Again, I have no idea what to say. During the car ride home, all Aaron and I wanted to do is hug Baby Girl. We were both in shock—and pretty much still are—but mostly felt like we were in mourning. We’re not sure what’s going to happen from this point forward. I have a feeling she will stay in the area since she likes it where she is and works in the city. Him, I’m not sure. She was the bigger bread winner so, I suppose he’ll move on somehow.

It’s funny, I thought I’d be able to wrap my head around this a little better once I got it down on “paper,” but in reality, it really hasn’t helped. I am as confused and bummed as before. I just hope we don’t end up losing two great friends in the process. That would be the biggest shame of it all.

Catch Up Entry

Thanksgiving: I ended up cooking the bulk of the meal, but it was all good. My Mom helped and no one had to lose a digit. It was a much smaller gathering than usual but it’s all good, it made it much easier to speak with everyone.

Baby Shower: It ended up a surprise after all. I knew it was supposed to occur. I figured the most logical time would have been this past weekend. I thought it would have happened on Saturday (and I was right) but Aaron threw me off. His aunt has been up from Florida and I know she was supposed to head back soon. He said we were supposed to have lunch with them. I then figured it was going to happen on Sunday instead. Then we got to Aaron’s sister’s place and I heard the voices. :)

I got a lot of really great things and a few things that I hadn’t expected. It made me really happy and made me realize that the wee girl is going to be here before I know it. I mean, according to the ticker, I have 60 days left to the due date. That’s nothing!

House Keeping: So now I’ve given Aaron the task of making room in our closets during his days off. As it is most of the baby stuff is in our living room. The crazy part is that we have to get creative in putting her stuff out. I think I am going to ask Aaron to pack up our book shelf to make room for a small dresser and the basinet. I don’t think he’s going to be too thrilled with the idea, but we have to pack them up anyway. We’re house hunting and if all goes well, we’ll have a new place by mid-to-late spring and hopefully be set to move by the beginning of the summer.

House Hunt: Speaking of a new place… we’ve hit a milestone! We wanted to have a certain amount socked away in our house fund by the beginning of November. We’re a month behind BUT we made the number. Now Aaron is saying that he’s getting back in full house hunting mode (as if he actually stopped or slowed). I’m pretty excited about this. Granted, yes, it brings up a whole new set of issues, like what is the commute going to be like, what are we going to do about daycare, what are we going to do about his brother, but we can get to those when the time comes. Besides, the whole brother thing is just a big headache and makes us both get really irritated. Quickly touching on it, I have been helping him with cover letters and helping him hunt for full time jobs. BUT what gets to both Aaron and I, is the fact that unless we’re there hounding him about getting a full-time job, he doesn’t do jack to search or to reply to things. YET he says he wants to keep the apartment. Yeah… not bloody likely at this rate. All I know is that he’s NOT moving in with us.

Christmas and Chanukah: I can’t believe he’s already ahead of me. I thought I had a jump start on him but no. Aaron is just about finished. Ah well. The good news is that we should be pretty much done by this weekend. I have a few more items to pick up and voila! And I’ll have a Chanukah gift for him for whenever he decides he wants to exchange gifts. I know he’s really anxious to give me a gift. He even said last night that he hates buying me things and then having to wait to give them to me. He doesn’t really care that I got him anything since I’m already giving him a very big gift.

The sad thing is that I really think I have to skip decorating after all. I looked into our hall closet and there is NO WAY I can actually get to any of my decorations— at least, not with all the new baby stuff in the way. Boo… but it’s all good. I’ll just have to make up for it once we’re in our new home and get to throw a big Christmas party.

Sad News: I haven’t spoken about this but I think it’s time… Aaron and I have two aunts who are coming to the end of their days. As a matter of fact, one is in hospice care and the other elected to remain at home, rather than be moved into a hospice. I can’t say exactly why I haven’t mentioned it sooner, I just haven’t. Now of course, with the new baby, house and all the other good stuff happening, I can’t help but think that my two aunts are going to be missed. These are the kinds of things they would love being there for. The aunt on my Dad’s side, while she has had her issues, has always been pretty great with me growing up. She used to take care of me when we first moved to NYC, and was the one who encouraged me to break the rules every now and then, much to my Dad’s chagrin. But she’s also the one who made me realize that you simply can’t take things so seriously all the damn time. And the scarier part is that, as I get older, I am starting to look a lot more like her. Aaron’s aunt (on his Dad’s side) is just about one of the happiest, sweetest people I have ever encountered. She’s a kook and he grandchildren even call her “Cuckoo” rather than grandma. Apparently, she and Aaron’s Mom used be pretty tight when they were younger, which doesn’t surprise me. We’re not sure how long either one of them has. But unfortunately, doctors have told them their cancer treatments have gone as far as possible, and that it is now in God’s hands. It’s odd; while thinking about them makes me sad, I really think I’m still in denial about both their cases. I’m just thankful for the nurses they have caring for them. These people really are doing God’s work here on earth. God bless them.

How Fargin’ Exciting!

I am really excited. Last night I was kind of outed on FB by a friend who was asking about how I was feeling. While I haven’t exactly been keeping it a secret, I haven’t actually gotten around to letting the world know about the news on a grand scale like this. So I took the celeb route and made the announcement myself. :)

My poor phone wouldn’t stop beeping all night long. It’s connected to my FB and every time I get a response to something it lets me know. I had to set it to silent to get to sleep.

Earlier in the night I experienced something really cool, as did Aaron. We felt the baby move. I kept noticing that the belly would kind of make mini swishy moves all day long. When Aaron got home I showed him. When he put his hand on my belly I felt the most definitive movement ever, right where his hand was. I was thrilled. He was positively over the moon.

Then of course, I got yet another bit of happy news. Early in the day, I sent my friend a text to let her know I sent her an e-mail through FB. I originally wanted to ask her if she would be up for going to lunch or something soon and to get her address for the shower. She said he’d be happy about getting together and then told me that SHE was also expecting and her 11th week! Mind you the last time I saw her it was back in June, I told her I was expecting and she told me she and her DH were trying for baby number two. Teehee! Love it!