A**HOLES!

Why must people be complete A-holes? I've just been going through some of my old posts to find comments left by some schmuck leaving spam links. My sincerest apologies all.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Ah yes, despite the warm weather, we’re actually getting close to Christmas. This is a problem. No, not because I’m afraid of a visit form the Krampus, but because I’m still down presents and oh yeah, the cards I bought with every intention of sending out, are still sitting on my dining room table untouched and unopened. What hurts is I have no effing idea when I’ll be able to actually get to any of this. I suppose I could just forgo sleeping. But then again, it wouldn’t help my situation much if I were to pass out in the midst of a card signing frenzy, landing on my pen and wind up stabbing myself in the eye. That’s all I need, an eye patch for Christmas photos. Somehow, I don’t think those come in red and white candy cane stripes for the season. :D

I should say Eff-it and skip the cards this year, but then I’d really feel like a slacker and would have to deal with being reminded of this next year when I come across the unopened boxes of cards. This, of course, wouldn’t happen until after purchasing a new batch. So then I’d feel like a slacker and feel dumb for wasting money on even more cards that can possibly suffer the same fate as their unloved predecessors. Neurotic, yes, but admit it, it’s true.

The only one person I have actually finished shopping for is the one little person who won’t even know what’s happening, and why she’s all of the sudden encouraged to rip up paper and resulting ribbons fly as of shot out of a confetti gun. Hell, I think that’s the only thing she may enjoy, which brings me to my next point; why the hell am I spending oodles and oodles of cash on the little one when she already has more toys that she will ever play with? Most of the time she just wants to eat and/or preferably, shred the newest magazines that come in the mail. Yes, there seems to be a difference. The attraction is lost the moment I finish reading any given magazine. I don’t know how she knows the difference, but she does. It’s amazing. But I digress. I have been buying her Christmas gifts since before Halloween. Yes, I fell victim to the marketing traps. From the moment I caught a glimpse of fake snow-covered shelves and detected the sounds of jingle bells being pumped through the speaker systems I felt compelled to buy, buy, buy.

Coincidentally, this is also the reason I have to relinquish control of my credit cards till the suckers are paid off. I have been hemorrhaging money through these things. It’s not going to be an easy thing to do since I feel as attached to my credit cards as Gollum did to the one ring, but I need to do something. I have never had this much debt in credit cards. Feck me!

Have Yourself a Terrifying Little Christmas

There are things that will forever be imbedded in my head as uniquely Christmas. These memories are your typical, warm and fuzzy memories of waking up entirely too early (likely an hour after my parents brought out the gifts.)

Sounds lovely, so what’s the deal with the title?

I’ll explain. Last year was the first time I ever even heard of the Elf on the Shelf. He’s supposed to be a spy for Santa that watches your child to make sure your little one behaves. Parents are supposed to move him around to make the kid think this thing comes to life in the middle of the night and in the morning goes back to being a mere doll. This year, I’ve started noticing that the Elf has grown in popularity and the more I think about it, the more confused I become over why this is. The thing is creepy. From its Bob’s Big Boy eyes, “It’s a Small World” figurine-like apple cheeks, and slightly hunched up shoulders, that are supposed to express a feigned innocence, the bastard creeps me out.



I am alone in this?

Personally, if I were a child and my parents brought in a possessed toy to “spy” on me, all the while wantonly flaunting the fact that it doesn’t care if evidence of its demonic linkage is known, ignored, and yes, even encouraged, I’d shit myself. I wouldn’t have found it endearing in the slightest. If anything, this creepy little bastard reminds me (yes, even now, as an adult) too much of the damn Poltergeist clown to be remotely cute.



Go ahead Google the thing and look up pictures of it. There are even sites dedicated to how “creative” some people have gotten with this thing. Evidence of the Elf’s mischievous nightly romps have been documented by sick parents (who I whole heartedly believe have too much time on their hands). They have made their children believe that the possessed elf has been rummaging about their homes, wreaking havoc by doing things like messing up coloring books, toilet papering the tree, dangling from a chandelier, using the toilet OUTSIDE, posing with other stuffed animals, and the creepiest of them all, resting atop of sleeping children’s heads. Seriously?!

Now, yes, I know what you may be thinking; it’s supposed to be a fun thing. He’s helping Santa. And this brings me to my next creepy thing. What the hell is the deal with the Krampus? Since when did Santa/St. Nick have a scary-as-hell demon following him about, eating naughty children?!


You’d think that somewhere in all the carols, and poems there would be a rhyme or a line about the bloodbath and the trail of destruction that was left behind as a result of naughty children being slaughtered as Santa flies through town with a monster in tow. You don’t hear a single mention of this in the “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” song. Nope! The song only says, “you better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout.” I think it would be a much more effective warning if it mentioned, kiss your ass goodbye if you don’t behave or the only thing left behind will be a puddle of gore and bits of you stuck in the monster’s teeth. Holy shit! When the hell did Christmas get outright scary?!



What happened to the days of, the three ghosts will visit you and help you find a way to redeem yourself? Back then Dickens’ story was as scary as it got. Holy shit! No wonder kids are seemingly getting more violent. .They aren’t raging against anything, they’re trying to protect themselves from the possessed Elf that will tell on them and eventually lead to their demise as a snack for the Krampus!

Is It Champ's Neighbor To The North?

HA! I love it when Yahoo News feeds my odd fascination with monster stories.

so this morning I ran across this little tidbit and I couldn't help but see the footage. I sadly remain unconvinced. But it's still fun...

Here's the story: "Canada's Loch Ness Monster Caught on Tape?"
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/canada-loch-ness-monster-caught-tape-012241654.html

(sorry, it doesn't want to link to text)

And here's the video.

And this is an earlier video of the "monster" in the water.

And this has been yet another episode in Brenda's Monsterpiece Theater :D

Tough, Bittersweet Decision

On the 19th baby Girl will be 10-months old. I have been nursing since day one but alas, I've come to the decision to start weaning her off. I didn't come to this decision randomly. I've just noticed that since she started solids a few months back, the milk level has dropped significantly and it's time to start supplementing with formula. I ran this by the pediatrician and she seemed to agree with me that it's time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to be stopping outright, I have to do this gradually, but it made me think about how much I'm going to miss nursing and the bonding time. I don't know, perhaps it's the fact that she is showing so many signs of growing up that it's making me a little emotional. I love her to bits but holy cow is she getting big fast.

Sigh... still 10 months, that's not a bad run. :D

The Front Step Trio

Not sure why the editing system didn't want me to add this to the last post but ah well...

I did actually work in some time to decorate a touch. I do normally get more creative than the front step trio, but I didn't want to freak the baby out so I went a bit more family friendly. I do fully intend to go a bit more "me" next year.

Time Out! Time Out! Time Out!

Holy crap I need a moment to breathe. I have been running on fumes for only heaven knows how long now. I think it’s high time I got a break.

Recap Time: I have been working like a mad woman with more responsibilities and a staff of none. Yaaaaay… I am department of one and they have absolutely no intention of hiring anyone for me! The other shitty part is that the place is getting increasingly unstable financially. Needless to say, I’m putting my resume out there. What kills me also is that they have sent me on a few overnight business trips. The last one was a week-long trip. Yeah that sucked ass! It wasn’t even any place fun. I basically got to stay in a hotel and go from meeting to meeting. So once I got back here I was up to my eyeballs in catch-up work to do.

The Baby Girl is getting positively huge. She’s not only crawling now but she’s also finding out that she really doesn’t need to have a kung fu grip on things with both hands to stand up. Needless to say, the gate is going up before next weekend.
We hit a kind of bittersweet milestone in our lives. My father retired. My father has been the superintendent of an apartment building since 1991. But because of his job, we have also all lived in that same apartment since then. I loved the town we lived in and now, they’re no longer there. While I’m happy that my parents have now officially moved into their new place, and ours (they stay with us for a few days during the week to watch Baby Girl), I kind of miss the New Rochelle apartment. It’s been home for so long and now it’s no longer there. Odd. What really threw me off was deleting the number I’ve had listed as “Home” on my cell phone. It just didn’t feel right.

And yes, you guessed it. With them moving out, that also means that we have been pitching in as much as possible. Oh yes, I will have stuff in the trunk of my car. I should probably get it out of there.

Oh hey, there have been wonderful bright spot in all of the craziness. Baby Girl had her first Halloween. I had every intention of taking her out. She had other plans though. I got about ten minutes of her in her little sheepie costume; just long enough to take a few pictures. She then went into a meltdown. She was too tired and hot and wanted the costume off. So we stayed in and handed out candy. Ah well. I did try. Still, it was fun. I like the fact that there are a ton of kids in the neighborhood and they pretty much cleaned us out. I have never had that happen. I love it. The other cool thing was that I got to meet a lot of the parents from the neighborhood. Normally I just get to see them when I drive by but this time I actually got to introduce myself to a good number of them.



So, what was my costume this year? Let's go with "homocidal maniac. They look just like everybody else."



I actually wanted to break away from my normal vampire and go with Zombie. But I thought about it a bit and decided against it. I didn't want to get all made up properly and then have to immediately take it off for making the baby cry. But next year...







Later this month, Aaron and I are going to be taking our first family trip to see my family in California. I am really looking forward to it. I’m not sure how I’ll feel about traveling afterwards, but for now, I have a game plan and I’m keeping my fingers crossed. The trip is kind of a big anniversary gift package. The first part is the whole thing was a kind of surprise ticket to see Rock of Ages. Loved it! The unfortunate part was that it was on Saturday. Yep the day of the freak snow storm.



And while I din't actually mind clearing the snow, I really regretted it when later on on Sunday night, I was in pain in places I didn't know I had. Awesome. :D