A Decade Together

Aaron and I reached a decade today. Yep this dynamic, quirky and mostly harmonious couple has been together for ten years. I still can't believe it. It really doesn't feel like it's been anywhere near that long. As a matter of fact...

Story time*
It feels like it was just yesterday that I was watching my bank account dwindling rapidly after graduation and feeling the urgent need to find a job to hold me over till my real job turned up. It was early June and I went around to all the restaurants on City Island (Bronx) to see if anyone was still hiring poor college students for the summer. Fortunately, the restaurant I worked at during the previous summer had all the girls they needed and the good people at The Seashore hired me.

On my first day, I met a very nice, tall and lanky young man named Andrew. My immediate thought was, "cute. I wonder what he's like when he wakes up." He was so damn mellow that I thought he was just tired as all hell. During the training we passed by a few snapshots on a wall of the wait staff. One of them was of him and this young man who reminded me of a character right out of an anime. Both of them had a cigarette hanging off their lips, cup of coffee in one hand and flipping off the camera with the other. His exact words were, "yeah, this is me and this is my sidekick... I mean partner in crime, Aaron. He's off today, but you'll probably meet him tomorrow." The following day I went in for my second day of training during the dinner shift. I followed a guy named Jamie. He introduced me to the people working that night. When we got to the back room where everyone was preparing, Jamie introduced me to Aaron. Before he got to his name, I said, "Oh yeah, I know you. You're Aaron, right? You're Andrew's sidekick." Jamie just about fell over laughing. Aaron looked shocked and stuttered out, "What the fuck?... Fucking asshole!" and stormed off.

I avoided him for the rest of the night. I couldn't believe I goofed like that. I really didn't mean to say, "sidekick," I really meant to say, "partner in crime" but the damage was done and now this guy thought I as a tool. Andrew came in an laughed about it. But still, I avoided him. Slowly, over the next few shifts, we became better acquainted and eventually it got to the point where others in the restaurant began taking bets on who I'd end up with. I had no intention on ending up with anyone at all. At the start of the summer I had suffered one of the most ego-crushing breakups ever. The guy I had been seeing during my last semester in college told me he wanted to break up because he wanted to try his luck with someone else. A guy! Adding insult to injury, it was the guy I was chasing at the end of the fall semester, the guy he was supposed to fix me up with! Yeah, SO swore men off for a while. I was hell-bent on not even allowing myself to develop a crush. I even went around telling people I was seeing someone, just in case.

So over the next few days we got to hang out at work a lot. They would both have me laughing my butt off during work. Andrew was the first to get my number but I think it was because he wanted to have something to hold over Aaron. after the first day I realized that Andrew, nice as he was, was WAAAAAY the hell too mellow for me. I liked the edgier, quirkier and faster, Aaron; Even though I was so denying it because this was, after all, the summer of ME. Myself, and I. But I digress. One night I got an invite to hang out at this little hole in the wall called Fella's. It's the kind of bar where only locals hang out in and after they go home, the waiters from the whole strip flock to. We hung out and I finally admitted to myself that perhaps I fancied the strange, animated guy. ESPECIALLY since earlier that night he quoted a truly obscure movie that elevated him in my eyes. "I'm a Derek and Derek's don't run." I congratulate you if you know it, you rock! For those who don't know it, don't feel bad. It's a line from Peter Jackson's first film, "Bad Taste." At the time, only true B-Horror movie fans even knew who the hell Peter Jackson was and among those, only a small number of them knew THAT movie. Terrible as this flick is, it's one of my favorite movies ever.

So yes... the following night Aaron was working in the section next to mine and I found myself asking him to hang out after work. He hadn't planned on it, but I really wanted him to come out so I kept asking him. I tried to fool myself into thinking this was only because I thought he was a cool guy and not because I fancied him. Certainly not, we couldn't have that. He eventually agreed. Because we opened, we were let go earlier than the rest of our coworkers. While we waited, we chatted happily till this girl in a tube top and boobs that tested that material came by and challenged him to a round on the video golf game they had at the opposite side of the bar. To my complete surprise, I got pissed! And the longer the game lasted, the harder I began to squeeze the beer bottle in my hand. When he came back I pulled myself together and shook off the irrational anger. There's no way he could be interested in the walking STD incubator. So we resumed our chat and as we talked away, I couldn't help but let my eyes wander to the top of his open work shirt. Until then, I had never wanted to see a guy shirtless, but something made me want to reach across the small table and rip the damn thing open.

I changed the topic. Comedy, yes, comedy, that was a safe topic. I remarked on his knowledge of the funny horror movie he quoted. He said that he was equally shocked that I knew it and said his friend introduced him to Peter Jackson, some other stuff I didn't catch because of his damn shirt, and British comedy. HELLO! "NO WAY?! I love British Comedy!" He asked me my favorites. I rattled off some stuff and ventured into the lesser known titles in the States, to test him out. He knew most of them. I told him that I have been watching Brit comedy since I was little and was the reason I could do several Brit accents pretty well. He challenged me to prove it so I did. At this point I hadn't noticed it but we had been inching closer and closer to each other over the table. Half way through my example of a more posh accent, he stopped me and said, "I'm going to have to kiss you if you don't stop that." Good lord! That's when I noticed the dwindling space. I still don't know where I got the figurative balls from but I suppose it was meant to be. I kept up the accent and said, "Oh, really? Well sir, what if I were to kiss you instead?" He said, "bullshit. You wouldn't dare." I responded with, "Oh really? Wouldn't I?" and a kiss. Just a lingering peck. "I wouldn't dare?" Neither of us moved. Then he said I wouldn't dare do it again. I said, "now you're just being cheeky" and kissed him again. This time a bit more seriously. Nothing gross, but I ended it with a nibble on his bottom lip.

By this time I was screaming at myself in my head wondering what the hell I was doing. I excused myself and pretty much bolted to the bathroom. But rather than chastise myself, I let out a muted scream along with a happy dance followed by a fit of, “ohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod.” That’s when tube top girl walked out of a bathroom stall and looked at me like I had three heads. I smiled and splashed water on my face. After gathering myself, I walked back and over to the tiny two-seater booth table. He asked me if I wanted to get out of there and go somewhere quieter, perhaps get a cup of coffee. And off we went to the Pelham Bay Diner.

What I hadn’t noticed was that during our chat and subsequent kisses that the rest of our coworkers had filed in and were seated at the booth directly behind me. No one noticed what happened. And when I was dancing like a goober in the bathroom, Aaron switched seats to talk to his buddy Andrew. Aaron told him I kissed him. After the, “really?!” high five and, “nice!” Aaron said, “yeah, but I really think she likes you.” Andrew replied with, “She kissed you? But you think she likes me? …You’re and asshole.” And that was that.

The running joke, to this day, is that after all this time; I’m really using Aaron to get to Andrew.

The following morning we went on our first date to the Met. About a week and several of dates later, on June 28th we became an official couple.

My Friend K

My friend K has had a rough couple of years. She has been from one bad relationship to some pretty turbulent ones and some that burned fast and ended very quickly. This last one was kind of sad. She was with him for over a year or so and she really thought this one was "it." Unfortunately, over the last few months she has come to the realization that this wasn't to be.

The first red flag was the mistrust. He just refused to trust her enough to be open and honest with her. Then she found some stuff that she had every right to question but he just clammed up and lashed out at her for being "nosy." Second red flag was the fact that most things had to be on his terms. There was very little giving and too much taking. No good. So luckily after a few weeks of thought and introspection mixed in with some crying, they called it quits.

She was disappointed, naturally, but bounced back quickly enough to get a place of her own with a shortened lease. I think she is planning on heading back East but needs some encouragement and obviously doesn't want to head back here sans job and place to live. The F*ed up thing is that the day she signed the lease HE had the balls to say that he thinks he made a mistake, admitted that he took her for granted then promised to change and give her everything she wants. She said, "NO."

I'm proud of her for this. I told her so and reminded her that it's not easy to give up on a dream and even harder to know when to walk away, especially when one is given a tempting promise like that. So yeah, my friend K is heading to her own place and is really considering ending her self-imposed exile out West, and heading back East. I reminded her that she has her entire support system back home and that we'd all be happy to help in any way possible. Sigh...

MTV's Playing Videos!

I haven't watched MTV in ages. I'm glad they're actually playing music videos. They've been playing Michael Jackson's videos all day long. I'm glad they're doing the right thing, considering he was one of the big driving forces that really launched the channel at the beginning.

As much as I adore the Jackson 5, those videos make me really sad.

Breakups

My friend who lives across the country just broke up with her boyfriend. I knew there were issues but she never let me know what was happening. Last night she sent me a text message with a single line reading "*Name* and I broke up."

I feel bad because I didn't hear the phone when her text came in so I didn't see it till this morning. I want to call her, but I have to prepare myself. Conversations like this are never easy and cause a good deal of emotional distress. Wish me luck.

Michael Jackson

When I heard the news about his death, I was at the supermarket. I overheard someone say, "I can't believe it, Michael Jackson is dead." My first reaction was, "Yeah, okay" and, "that's got to be someone else by the same name."

Sadly, when I got into the car, every station was playing a Michael song. I still can't believe that one of my favorite artists, ever is dead. Sure he had his issues. Big issues. Issues that some people just can't ever come back from. Yet he was trying. Let's face it, the dude was odd, but entertaining as all hell in his hay day and sadly, well after. Sadly, what's easy to forget when looking at all the odd stuff like Bubbles, the llamas, the rides in his home, the kooky paintings of himself as a royal, the Elephant Man's bones, that he was a human being who probably really did have a good heart.

Case in point, one of my all-time favorite songs, "Heal the World." Not everyone can write something so damn nice.


There's a place in
Your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could
Be much
Brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need
To cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow

There are ways
To get there
If you care enough
For the living
Make a little space
Make a better place...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

If you want to know why
There's a love that
Cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares for
Joyful giving
If we try
We shall see
In this bliss
We cannot feel
Fear or dread
We stop existing and
Start living

Then it feels that always
Loves enough for
Us growing
So make a better world
Make a better world...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

And the dream we were
Conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we
Once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep
Strangling life
Wound this earth
Crucify its soul
Though its plain to see
This world is heavenly
Be gods glow

We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart
I feel you are all
My brothers
Create a world with
No fear
Together we cry
Happy tears
See the nations turn
Their swords
Into plowshares

We could really get there
If you cared enough
For the living
Make a little space
To make a better place...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

There are people dying
If you care enough
For the living
Make a better place
For you and for me

You and for me.....



REST IN PEACE, MAN. REST IN PEACE.

Waiting For January

We're coming Eddie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Eventually.

hnb gyujmy njhjhmyui nyjhumki (Beating Head on Keyboard)

Every time I send out a resume I should just write, "Here, I offer you my time and professional life thus far, for you to piss on." 'Cause that's what it feels like every day when I respond to several posts and hear back little to nothing in return. Bastards.

I would say, I should try to change up my approach, but there isn't much more I can do other than stalk the hiring managers at different companies and that just doesn't sound like the kind of attention I want to draw to myself. I've changed and tweaked my resume several times and I am always changing it up to match every specific points for posts. I also make sure to customize my cover letters and I use some of the language in their posts, but still... sigh.

I swear this process is like beating yourself over the head repeatedly.

"Are you not entertained?!"