My Favorite People in the World

The Baby, Ten Days Later

Yaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnn... so very sleepy, but happy.

Ever since the Baby Girl came into the world, I have been on a strange roller coaster. I go from being completely elated, to about to pass out from exhaustion, to crying my eyes out after wondering what she's dreaming about. I am SO not kidding. But behind all of this is the Baby Girl, who is absolutely more perfect and lovely than I could have ever imagined.

Tuesday January 19th: I woke up at 5:00 am to start getting ready. We were told to show up at the hospital at 10 am. Pretty much as soon as we got to the hospital we were moved into the prep room. I got strapped up to baby monitors and poked full of holes. They couldn't find my friggin vein for the IV. It took them five tries before they gave up and got a specialist. She got it in one shot. At about one-ish they moved me to the OR, the epidural wasn't as bad as they said it would be. I felt a pinch, pressure, heat and then my legs went. So odd. I started getting a little anxious when I saw my doctor come in with his doctor posse and no Aaron. I outright told them we couldn't start without Aaron. Luckily he was just getting his scrubs on outside. He sat in a stool beside me the whole time. After he sat down I heard them say they were starting. Everything went smoothly from there. I asked the nurse to give me an alcohol pad to breathe since the smell of burning skin was making me a little nauseous.







The, just like that, I heard the most wonderful little sound in the world; Baby Girl's cries. I went from a kind dream-like state of mind to being so overjoyed my eyes immediately filled with tears. I couldn't focus fast enough. All I could do is scan the damn room till I got a quick glimpse of her. I think if I could have I would have gotten up from the operating table and walked over to her right at that moment. Aaron held my hand like he said he would. Then it happened, he got an unfortunate look at what was happening on the other side of the blue curtain. As they were putting me back together, they tilted the OR table back a touch so when he looked over he said he just saw parts that belong on my inside. He thinks he even saw my liver. I kind of felt bad for him. I saw the look on his face and even though his face was partially covered, I knew he was turning new and exciting shades of green. They called Aaron over to cut the cord, he hesitated a bit but did it.

They brought her over to me and I was done. I'd like to say I remember seeing Aaron's expression but all I could focus on was her. I remembered Aaron saying, "Here she is." But beyond that, everything everyone said was a blur. I know she reacted to my voice. As unhappy as she was to be out of her former home, she did stop crying and fussing for a moment and looked around when she heard my voice. They took a few photos and then took her to clean her up further. I told Aaron to stay with the baby. After he left, my doctor told me about a few things that happened and what they were doing. Blah, blah, blah.

Aaron followed and stayed with her as long as he could, then came back to find me in the recovery room. While waiting in there, I got to hear a little bit of what was going on during a vaginal birth from one of the delivery rooms down the hall. Now, till this point I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about having to have had a c-section. But after hearing the lady screaming her head off, yeah, I'm cool with having to deliver this way.

So that was the delivery. Exciting ain't it?

Once in my room, room 644 in Lawrence Hospital, I got to relax and feel nothing for a little while. I was kind of out of it for a little while but anxious to see the baby. Once I got to see her, I just couldn't stop staring at her. She was just too damn cute.




Every day since then has brought something new. She changes ever so slightly every day and it's just amazing. Her smell is the best thing I have ever experienced. There are times when I will just sit there smelling her while she sleeps. Aaron occasionally takes one of her blankets or outfits and puts it on his head to sleep.

Sigh... I never knew that love could actually get better. :D

"The Waiting is the Hardest Part"

So here I am, a few days away from what is most likely going to be THE big day. I swear all of this, while becoming more and more real, is still such a foreign concept. Aaron and I are going to be responsible for a whole other person. And just in a, 'sure I'll watch the munchkin for ya,' kind of way. Nope this one's going to be ours, all ours, and there's no giving her back. Trippy.

So yes, while I am as prepared as I think I'm going to get, I'm now kind of getting a little anxious. Not that I seriously think it'll happen, but what if I turn out to be bad at the whole Mommy thing. Or what if I botch something up? What is she doesn't like me? What if I turn out to be a worse parent than the Lohans? or worse yet, the Simpsons (Ashlee and Jessica's freaky-ass parents) Cripe!

Inhale... Exhale...

So yes, things are finally beginning to get real, while at the same time, I just can't wait for Tuesday to find out what's actually going to happen.

But on the less confusing side, let's talk real estate... I think Aaron and I found the house. We spent most of yesterday looking at houses. We started off at a house we put a bid on and lost. The seller has since dropped the price on the place and so we're considering putting another bid on the place. But first we wanted to look it over one more time to be sure. The problem is, we REALLY liked the place. So much so that when we went to the other places we had lined up, nice as they were or had the potential to be, we just didn't care. We just kept thinking back to the first house and the things we could do to it to make it our own. I suppose that's a sign. Maybe?

My Head Almost Exploded

I feel very accomplished today. I got up nice and early to run errands and to get some baby stuff done. I don't have a whole lot left to do, mainly wash clothes and organize them.

But in the process of the laundry sorting, I kept having to stop and stare at the itty bitty socks. I swear my head was going to explode form the tiny cuteness. I mean, they may as well have been baby mini-lop bunnies staring at me. My voice reached a whole new pitch detectable, and very likely painful for most dogs. I almot feel bad for the pain I inflicted on any poor animal within a three mile radius, but then again, those socks are too damn cute.

Getting Tired

I've accepted the fact that I have come down with the adult version of senioritis. I have a week and two days left before I go on maternity leave but I want to do absolutely nothing. Don't get me wrong, I have a ton I need to get to including a presentation and I still have to set up a checklist of things that need to get done. I just don't want to do any of them. Blech.

Honestly, I just want to get to all the stuff I have waiting for me at home, and sleep.

It's Worth a Try

Today Aaron and I got some baby news. We had a sonogram and as it turns out that while the baby has dropped a touch, she is breech. Everything is prefectly fine with her and all, it's just that she's kinda stuck head up. Figures.

The doctor told us he's still going to monitor her progress but since she doens't have a whole hell of a lot of room to shift, he doens't think she'll turn herself around. So the c-section is scheduled for Jan. 19th at 1:00. I'm okay either way as long as there's nothing wrong wth the wee one. But I am going to try one seemingly wacky thing. A friend told me that she tried playing music for the baby and that made her turn. She had these things called belly buds. Basically headphones for the belly. She said she started plahing music for the baby everyday. This made him follow the sound till he was turned the correct way. So not sure if this will work, but I decided I'd give it a shot.

I didn't get the belly buds but I do have nifty sounding skull candy, DJ-style headphones. So I put those low on the belly and I'll see what happens. I think I'll only do this when I know she'll be awake. I don't want to completely disturb her.

Luckily, I have a good amount of Ozzy on my ipod. Believe it or not, she does seem to like the Ozz-man. Every time I play him in the car or anywhere else for that matter, she seems to go nutty moving around. :) I think it's cute.

Well, Looky Here

Aside from being cranky most of the day, I also noticed I've been kind of uncomfortable sitting down in my char no matter how far back the backrest was. Didn't realize the reason till I got home and Aaron went to say hello to the belly...

The baby has dropped. And Aaron is now a even more convinced that the baby is going to be making a much earlier appearance than originally estimated. The funny thing is, I've been so preoccupied with everything and half asleep that I hadn't even noticed how much better I've been able to breathe, and the fact that I only needed to take Tums once this morning! Duh. That should have been a dead giveaway.

So yeah, I'll have a much better idea of what's going on tomorrow during my appointment, but I do belive Aaron's right. It's a good thing we've really gotten a move on getting things organized for the wee girl. :D

Preggo Rant

Pregnancy so far, has been pretty pleasant. Sure there have been moments that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, particularly the random vomiting for no good reason at the beginning or the odd bodily aches. But now that I’m pretty much at the end of the pregnancy, I’m finding that along with the unpleasant swelling in my hands and feet, I’m also becoming mighty short tempered. I mean, really short tempered. Like, fully believing that flinging a good sized or jagged rock at someone’s head is a perfectly reasonable way to make them leave you alone— kind of short tempered.

Case in point, a person who is not someone I report to has been sending me emails informing me of how to do my job. My initial thought was, “Go f*** yourself!” But I took a second and thought, perhaps they are just trying to be helpful and wish to send me a friendly reminder. I doubt it, but still… then I got subsequent emails with these so-called, “helpful reminders.” And of course, the more I received, the more violent my wishes for the rest of their day became.

Now, I hesitate to blame this solely on the preggo hormones. I’d say a lot of this also has to do with the lack of sleep I have been getting over the last few weeks. All the changes ranging from loosening of the ligaments, infinitesimal bladder capacity, carpal tunnel and, oh yes— new to the lineup— restless leg syndrome (yippee), I have slowly become an über cranky biotch with a diminished measure of self control. Imagine if you will a sleep deprived toddler with unlimited access to potentially dangerous objects (yes rocks, but also things like keyboards, computer screens, staplers, books, coffee mugs, phones, thumb tacks, big clips for TPS reports, etc.) and the knowledge of how to use them. :D

Meh. There is one nifty thing I’ve discovered; certain people aside, the bigger I get, the more people tend to stay out of my way. They also become a lot more forgiving when it comes to the total loss of control and temper. It’s actually kind of fun.

But yeah… That’s my little rant for the day.