Early Signs of Progress?

Perhaps it's just me but I think I'm making some good progress here. The last time I went running my calf muscle (the one that tore a few months back) only cramped once. granted, I almost passed out twice, but it's still am improvement over the first time out. The other thing I noticed is that I do feel a bit better and more awake now that I have been doing some crunches in my room before getting into the shower in the morning. Sure I'm still tempted to just say F-it and hit the mall for a new wardrobe, but it's still early. Now if I could only get Aaron to come back out with me. The last time I went running his excuse was that he was busy watering the lawn. 'Cause, you know, he has to physically make the water come through the hose. Sigh. And oh yeah, he still hasn't gotten past looking through the materials in the Insanity program. I think I'll create a new running playlist. I discovered something a little odd (but funny) during my last run. "Hey Mickey" by Toni Basil is a really good pace keeper song. Totally true. And I'm sorry if I've accidentally gotten the song stuck in your head. So the new playlist will consist of songs with a similar beat count (Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind, Hey Mickey!) Oh hell, it's in your head anyway... Might as well...

Hurt So Good

So here I am, hurting all over but feeling damn good. As I mentioned in another post, I go tired of seeing my poor sneakers go unused and unloved. I also came to the realization that my tubby ass needs to slim down a touch. What's a girl to do? I got off the couch and dragged Aaron with me. Actually I came damn near close to having to use brute force to get Aaron out of the house. His excuse this time around was, "But I just woke up." My response to that was, "Well, you have to BE awake to run, so you're in good shape." He grumbled and tried following it up with, "You won't be able to keep up with me," and the "You won't be able to run the whole loop." I told him that I had no expectations to make it around and that seeing as how this is the first time I've gone running since before the pregnancy, I fully expected to run slowly. We ran around our neighborhood. Just one loop. Our neighborhood isn't that large but it is full of hills. I stopped a few times but not because I was tired, I had to stop and stretch. I also realized that this was my first time working out since the calf muscle tear. Overall, yep, I'm out of shape but it's not exactly a surprise. Yesterday, I had a very rare day alone. Aaron went fishing during the day and had to work so he stayed at his brother's. My parents took the little one to their house for the night so I was on my own. Did I sleep? Nope. I decided to break out the Insanity Program DVD and start that bitch up. Day one, fit test. I did fairly well. Some movements were a laugh and I almost fell over, but I actually did better than I anticipated. With the stories Aaron was telling me about his coworkers vomiting after the workout, I was a little concerned. I pushed myself pretty hard and it did take a good hour before I could actually move again, but no vomiting. Then I felt the high and decided, nah, I haven't done enough. So I dropped to the floor and did four sets of 30 scissor crunches while making dinner. I would have attempted pushups too but my arms actually gave out. I went to bed feeling really good. By morning, however, not so much. I planned on going running in the morning but the Advil didn't kick in fast enough. Ah well. Perhaps later.

Goals

My clothes seem to have gotten smaller... again. Don’t you hate it when that happens? So yes, I used some of the free time I had this weekend to swap out some of the fall and winter clothing for some of the spring stuff. I was a touch dismayed by how much more snugly things fit. I then looked over at my neglected running shoes and decided it’s time. The poor things have gone unused for far too long. Great. Now the only problem is finding the time to use them. I have the sinking sensation I may have to become either a night time runner. I mean, after dinner, 8:30 p.m. and later- kind of runner. OR start my runs at about 5:00 a.m. why so early? That’s easy, I have a little one who has gotten into the habit of waking up at 4:00 a.m. and while I can get her back to sleep, it normally takes a bit. But, this also means I could only really do this on the days my parents stay over. OR become a totally irresponsible parent and leave the little one on her own while Mommy goes running (yeah, okay). I am still not sure how well working out inside would go, but it might be worth a shot. Meh. I’ll do a trial run today and tomorrow and see how this all goes. It’s going to kind of suck ass though. That’s usually small window of time when I can actually spend a few minutes with Aaron. I would take him running with me. But he usually comes up with some excuse like, ‘I’ll start the insanity program first, then I’ll go running with you,’ or my personal favorite, 'you don't keep up with me.' Mind you, we have had that thing in our house for almost two months. I think I’ll actually get around to doing the workout before he does. So what’s my ultimate goal? I’m looking to drop about 60. Yep. Big ole goal, but doable. Of course, I’ll have to alter my plans should anything come up, like say, a successful pregnancy, but I’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Hope

This is a tough post. I have been mulling it over in my head since last night and even decided not to post this at all. BUT I think, for my own well-being, it might best to just get it out there…. So Monday Aaron and I were treated to some great news. Muchkin number two was officially on his/her way. And of course, we were elated; cautious, of course, but happy nonetheless. I made an appointment for the first prenatal visit and restocked my vitamins. Yesterday, however, it came to a screeching halt. I didn’t feel so hot and I started feeling that tell-tale inkling you get when your period starts (I can’t really explain it better, so if you’re a guy. Sorry, you just have to be a woman to understand). But yeah. I called the doc and they got me in for a sonogram. My doctor, God bless him, said that the symptom my not necessarily be a bad thing. But also let me know that there’s a chance this may not be good. After the sonogram they let me know that it is most likely not a good thing. The technician couldn’t find anything. But said there is a slim chance that it’s still too early to see anything. I should say at this point, I had already come to peace with the fact that we were back at square one. So now where does that leave me? I’m actually okay. A little bummed yes, but that’s mostly because according to the Chinese gender prediction chart, it would have been a boy. But in reality I’m more concerned about what I have to do next and what I should be on the looking out for in terms of my health. But mostly, as a person of faith, I am comforted by the knowledge that this was God’s plan. And although I may not understand it now (or ever), I know that there was a reason—even if it was to make me happy enough to get me through some challenging days at work, and keep me from telling everyone to go screw themselves in the middle of an angry outburst. To some, this may seem like a simple-minded way to deal with something I just don’t understand. And it may well be. But again, I believe that during the times when there are no clear answers, those are the times that the Big guy gives you what you need to get through. For me that came in the form of a bible verse I heard on the radio. It basically said, no matter what is happening, God’s love never changes. And like that, I felt much more comfortable with everything. This was also when I made the decision to go ahead and post my thoughts on the situation Okay, now you’re thinking, um… why is the former Goth queen with the sailor’s potty mouth so preachy? I have no idea. It’s just what happened. But in case you’re concerned that I am about to go run off to start or join a cult out of grief, rest assured, I am actually in a good mood and am looking forward to retro-posting the entries from the first few weeks of the next pregnancy. No. I have no intention of posting things early on until I am sure the little one sticks. So for now, it’s back to my random musings and expressions of awe, over the amount of vomit and or poop one child can produce. And yeah, I ended up wearing vomit again last night. Awesome! I can’t wait for this f**king stomach bug to go away.

A little Green in the Gills.

Oh what a wonderful thing it is to wake up to a puking child, especially when it's three in the morning and she is right next to you, on your bed! Yep, this was the scene on Tuesday morning. The little one wasn't in the mood to eat the previous evening and was feeling a little cranky so I wasn't surprised to get a 3:00 wake-up call from the monitor. Luckily, Aaron is wonderful and answered the call. After unsuccessfully trying to get her to fall back asleep he brought her over to me. She fell asleep within a few minutes. I drifted off too because the next thing I know Aaron is waking me up in a panic. The baby puked. Awesome! We finished cleaning her, the bed, the mattress and ourselves, just in time for my alarm to go off. Sweet! The rest of the day wasn't much better. Baby Girl had exploding diapie issues and more puking! She even managed to get vomit in the vent on the oven door, so that Aaron had to open the thing up and clean inside it. I didn't even know those opened like that. Last night she slept most of the night. I got a 4:00 wake up call. But she seemed okay. I brought her over to our bed (so should have listened to the voice in my head that said, 'don't do it.') and about ten minutes later, ta-dah! The difference was that at least this time around, I was awake. She looked at me, gave me a sad face and blech... I ended up wearing most of it. And the bit that did land on the bed, I scooped up before it got to do any damage. So there I was, child on one arm, a vomit laden hand stretched out, reeking of sour milk (or good cheese), all the while trying to wake Aaron up. Of course the part that made it funnier is that during the cleaning process, she had an explosion in the diapie. Ahhh... fun.