Fighting My Inner Bartleby

This is another epiphany entry (just so you know).

For most of my life I knew that I got along with men. Growing up I had more guy friends than girls and for the most part, that still true. Recently, however, I’ve been hanging around a lot more women and even more recently, the reasons why I chose to keep more male friends dawned on me.

I don’t like the Queen Bee types or those who perceive themselves as Queen Bees. These are the women who must have all social events circulate around them and insist on being the ringleader at all times and usually fancy themselves as the leading authority on everything. It had never occurred to me until oh, say, last night while trying to figure out what I was brining to a party this weekend. I’m all for the party, I’ve just been fighting a Bartleby The Scrivener-like response to the thought of going to this Queen Bee’s place. The party in question was the brainchild of another woman but the QB soon said she could host everyone at her place since she would otherwise not be able to make it, and had since then changed the date once. But whatever.

As I said, I have been looking forward to meeting up with other people at that party but have also been saying to myself that I would much rather be with my group of friends and that’s when it hit me. I compared the women I like and my group of friends and the QB and the difference stood out. The women I formed any kind of bonds with are not fussy or demand all eyes at all times. I like them because although they vary in girly degrees, from all-out priss to adult tomboy, they are all chill people, sort of like a man.

I mean this in the most positive sense, mind you. I mean, men’s attitudes are very laid back and for the most part wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if they weren’t the center of attention unless they had a specific role or task to accomplish, or they were gay. But I’m strictly talking about straight men. See, I think growing up surrounded by guys, this kind of rubbed off on me and the way my personality formed. Put a man in a room with a QB and you will most likely get an eye roll after a little while, or she would be perceived as a total nag. And I think this is kind of my response to the QB’s. Huzzah, it makes sense!

… By the way, if you’re wondering what the hell I mean by Bartleby The Scrivener, it’s a Herman Melville piece he wrote after Moby Dick. Bartleby’s most famous line, and I think only lines were, “I’d prefer not to.”