The Incognito Snob

Weddings are great. Despite the stress for anyone involved, the generally encourage good, goo-goo eyed feeling all around and with any luck the place holding the reception does a good job on the food. Yesterday we went to our friends David and Christina’s wedding. It was the first time Aaron and I have been at a wedding since our own, so it was nice to remember that the things are supposed to be fun. Fun. Funny that…

The ceremony was blessedly short, the food at the cocktail hour was very good (better than the actual dinner) and Aaron and I had a great time with our own volley of snarky commentary on random things.

There was one slightly awkward part of the day itself and this had nothing to do with Aaron or the couple getting married. We went to the wedding with Jerry and his new girlfriend, Lisa. Now, most of you know why this would be slightly awkward. So I knew I has to behave and believe me I tried. I really did. But I swear from the moment we stepped into the car all I kept doing in my head was comparing her to Kristen. Kristen is prettier, Kristen is smarter, and would never wear that. It was terrible. I was critiquing the poor girl on every point imaginable. I felt so outright vicious. I actually had to force myself to think nice things, to be able to act civilly toward her. Hopefully, I just came off as shy.

But what was I supposed to do? Estranged as Kristen has been lately, I still consider her one of my best friends and I love her. Although irrational, part of me can’t help but feel protective. But Jerry’s new girlie, without knowing it, also left me with HUGE openings for me to tear her up (mostly internally). The prime example was when she brought up P.F. Chang’s. Now, Mind you, I have been to several and I’ve always thought the place is okay. Better than your average Chinese food place, but nothing to boast about. She at one point during the cocktail hour asked me if I’ve been there before. I told her that I had. She pretty much lit up and began gushing about the place and asked if I LOOOOOVED the place too. I responded by saying I thought they were pretty good and that they exceeded my expectations, considering it’s a chain restaurant. I couldn’t help it! I have been ridiculously spoiled when it comes to restaurants. I’ve been to places that have outstanding food and I have been to Chinese restaurants that serve food that one would swear was prepared by God himself. Sure she didn’t have any way of knowing that, but she made that one too easy.

Then as the night progressed she just left me with other opportunities to make me feel superior. It’s terrible but sometimes, when I get like this, I become quite the elitist snob. Now, I’m not even sure how or why it came up, but at one point the conversation turned to reading and she said she didn’t read much. The gremlin that MUST have been running my mind at the time went nutty because this sent me into snobbish overdrive. It was bad. Still, I tried to fight it off. But God help me, as much as I loathe it, there’s a part of me that really feeds off this kind of behavior.

I know, I know, bad Princess Pikachu! She didn’t do anything to me or Kristen for that matter. Eventually, I remembered that and I DID make an effort to be nice and keep the bitch tame. It wasn’t easy though. I suppose, I should now throw out a friendly gesture, like invite them out for coffee to cover up any negative feeling I’m certain seeped through. I just hope this doesn’t invite another opportunity for the snobbish bitch to come out and play. I don’t know if I can contain her for that long.